I just need to say that outloud to someone. The universe I guess. My husband and I decided before marriage no kids, and last January (a year ago) I got pregnant by accident. We decided to have an abortion. At the time I thought I would make a horrible mother. I was afraid of my legacy.
There’s also a component that I was horrified. Horrified that this child was growing inside me without my permission. I thought I had put an end to unwanted violations of my body.
Now a friend is pregnant and all I can think is that it should be, could be me. I suppose I will have to give my feelings some time to settle and figure it all out.