One of the legacies of my abuse is that I feel uncomfortable with crowds. I can’t suss out the danger, and I always feel like people are staring at me. I hate going into new situations. A complicating factor is that I’m very overweight, and therefore very self conscious.
I have a wedding coming up on my husband’s side, and I am a mess. They are a different religion than me, they are very wealthy, and I feel like an outcast. I feel like no matter what I do my dress will not be right, my gift will not be enough, and I will feel ill at ease. Not only that, but they have the stigma of the f word – FAMILY. What’s more dangerous than that?
Normally I ooze discomfort and people stay away. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’m going to try something different this time. Since I figure the decks are already stacked against me, I’m going to try and have fun. I’m going to pick out a dress I feel fabulous in and I’m going to give what I can afford and not a penny more. I’m going to wear comfortable shoes so I can dance. I’m going to try to pull out the parts of my personality that my friends and loved ones adore and my colleagues respect.
Does anyone have any suggestions for keeping the scared ones comforted?