I don’t wanna

So much has been going on and swirling in my head…don’t even know where to start talking.  I think when I get like this and I can’t articulate what I’m feeling I just go into “doing” mode.  I’ve noticed that I want to “do” everyone around me.  Maybe it’s a way to express control…I mean from when I was little I was shown that sex was the ultimate tool of power and control.

I’ve been tired a lot lately, and scared a lot.  Money is tighter than it has ever been and I feel desperate.  My husband is depressed because of his job situation, and my family is going through some stuff right now.  I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to.

All I hear in my head is choruses of “I don’t wanna.”  That about sums it up.

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