“Prayin” by Kesha: “I’m proud of who I am No more monsters, I can breathe again And you said that I was done Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come”

It’s the end of one era and the beginning of a new one . I have moved on from the therapist who for the last 12 years has been my rock, my container, and my secure base.  I have come to a certain peace about the abuses of my mother.  A peace that allows me to wish her quiet, hope she finds humility and forgiveness, and acknowledges that her sins and transgressions are not for me to forgive.  Yes, she is dead, but in my soul she is very much alive, and needs to take up less real estate in my head.  I cannot carry the burden of guilt anymore.  I couldn’t do anything then, and I can’t do anything now.  It is my time to live my life, based on what I need and what I want.  Stay tuned.  The best is yet to come.

Well, you almost had me fooled
Told me that I was nothing without you
Oh, but after everything you’ve done
I can thank you for how strong I have become

‘Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell”

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’

I’m proud of who I am
No more monsters, I can breathe again
And you said that I was done
Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come
‘Cause I can make it on my own, oh
And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known
I’ll bring thunder, I’ll bring rain, oh
When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

You brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell”

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’

Ah sometimes, I pray for you at night, oh
Someday, maybe you’ll see the light
Whoa oh oh oh, some say, in life, you’re gonna get what you give
But some things only God can forgive

Yeah! (I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’)
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’