I just need to say that outloud to someone. The universe I guess. My husband and I decided before marriage no kids, and last January (a year ago) I got pregnant by accident. We decided to have an abortion. At the time I thought I would make a horrible mother. I was afraid of my legacy.
There’s also a component that I was horrified. Horrified that this child was growing inside me without my permission. I thought I had put an end to unwanted violations of my body.
Now a friend is pregnant and all I can think is that it should be, could be me. I suppose I will have to give my feelings some time to settle and figure it all out.
savingolivia 
How are you doing with the urge? Did you tell your husband about it? I had a feeling of needing a baby so someone would love me unconditionally, I’d be so much better than my parents, and I would love it without effort.
Lisa
Hi Lisa. No, I didn’t tell my husband. I think the majority of me doesn’t really want a baby – like you said I want that unconditional love. I’m adult enough most of the time to know that a baby won’t give me that. SO, I adopted a puppy 🙂
I think that’s a great idea. What’s puppy’s name? Will they be terribly spoiled?
His name is Patch. He will be terribly spoiled 🙂